A poem inspired by the writing style of Frank O'Hara
I walk onto the uptown local 6 at 59th
and it hits me
the smell of bacteria or fungus
but more like
the smell of my elementary school cafeteria
after the lunch ladies ran their smelly rags over crumb filled tables
What's this? A worn, little brown dog falls before me
a hairy, gray arm reaches out, picks it up, and attempts to hand it back to its rightful owner
a small, dark haired girl
sitting upon a comfortable throne as she stares
an empty stare
Why didn't I extend my hand to save the sacred toy from the grime-filled floor?
Maybe it was my unnatural hatred
of strollers in train cars
I was unaware
But perhaps my face twisted
and my eyebrows
came together as my mouth turned down
What a picture that would have made!
Yes, I could see Henri Cartier-Bresson now
poised tactfully somewhere in that train car
with his 35mm Leica
The right place, the right time
Sweet girl, sweet doggy, sweet stranger,
and my scowl contradicting it all
Click!
There it is
The Decisive Moment
This poem you have written does a really great job of imitating the style of Frank O’Hara. From your first line, readers know they are in New York City, the same setting he uses. You also have a nice use of question marks and exclamation points that exemplify a sense of wonder. The way you describe the scene and people around you on the train and your personal reaction, seems spot on to the way O’Hara does it. I like your description of, “a hairy, gray arm” and the child “upon a comfortable throne.” One thing you might consider changing is the beginning where I noticed you used the word “smell” three times. Do you think another adjective for the rags besides smelly would make the description more illustrative? You have a nice poem here that conveys emotion and scenery all at once in the style of O’Hara. Does the “sacred toy” you mention refer to the dog? You might want to clarify this, but the vagueness is also effective in its own way.
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